Womanizer
I caught a bit of the movie called All the Real Girls. Its from 2003, stars Paul Schneider, Zooey Deschanel, and Patricia Clarkson, and its about a twenty-something womanizer who falls for his best friend’s younger sister. I only caught parts of it with one being when the best friend tells the sister to stay away from him - he is no good (the discussion is shot with lots of facial close-ups of the siblings and interspersed with some vignettes of how the womanizer character treats women during their brief encounters and relationships - he has slept with most every girl in his small town).
Let’s just say it reminded me a little bit of someone I used to know *. But it also got me to thinking about the situation in general. That part I saw was interesting to me because I have often wondered how men stay friends with guys who they know to be jerks to women when they themselves are not jerks in that manner. How do you reconcile things when your best buddy is an asshole to women? I think it might be because they are decent friends but just lousy boyfriends. I also wonder if there is some part of the ‘nice guy’ who lives vicariously through the womanizer.
Urban Dictionary
A selfish, narcissistic, nefarious character who needs to manipulate and use woman to feed his own childish, self serving ego. Has definite â Mommy issues.â Will often seek out girls far too young, in hopes that they’ll be too naive to read his intentions. Not only will this type of predator pursue women relentlesslyâusing time, flattery & displaying a âsincere” interest in becoming close on an emotional/mental levelâbut will quickly lose interest once his true nature as a sodomizing bastard is uncovered. The fallout is ALWAYS the woman’s fault, as his ego cannot handle the reality of his own fucked up behavior.Free Online Dictionary
Noun: womanizer -Â a man who likes many womenand has short sexual relationshiops with them.
Synonyms
philanderer: one who engages in many love affairs, especially with a frivolous or casual attitude. Used of a man.
Casanova:Â any man noted for his amorous adventures
Don Juan:Â any successful womanizer (after the legendary profligate Spanish nobleman)
debauchee, libertine, rounder: a dissolute person; usually a man who is morally unrestrained
Lothario: a successful womanizer; a man who behaves selfishly in his sexual relationships with women
masher, skirt chaser, woman chaser, wolf:Â a man who is aggressive in making amorous advances to women
It also got me to thinking of how I as a female friend handle knowing other women who behave badly with men. I have known some to cheat and lie. I have know others who do things that one would consider manipulative, competitive and distrusting. What I have come to believe is a lot of this behaviour is coming from a place of fear. That is where most of my own bad behaviour comes from. When I make mistakes (big and small) with love and sex it is usually because I am searching for a way to not feel pain and loneliness. Of course, these mistakes do not lead to anything close to long term fulfillment. The opposite is true. I end up feeling more empty and sad than before. Classic addictive behaviour. I am definitely a love junkie. Realizing this about myself (and what is my true motivation) has helped me be less judgmental when other women behave badly. That has been a big lesson - and one I am still struggling with because when their bad behaviour affects me - well, it affects me.
The good news is that I have been able to share my shame over my mistakes with my closest friends and express my fear and pain. I find that my friends are supportive and do what they can to help me stay on the path of self-love, esteem and not compromising myself. My female friends do their best to not enable me. Do men do this? It seems when men behave badly their friends don’t stand in their way. They don’t challenge them. Or do they?
* I am so hooked on this song. Sorry neighbours for it being on repeat.
