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For Your Viewing Pleasure: Multi-Media Voyeurism and Exhibitionism Exposed

Another essay from the past. How little things have changed. Though before it was all about everyday people being exposed (exploited?). Now the focus is also on celebrities who have lost their place in the spotlight trying to gain it back again by documenting their (often train-wreck) lives. And don’t even get me started on the Kardashians. I actually I have never seen their TV shows, but I do see them on the covers of magazines everywhere and I am at a loss for what it all means. But lets go back a few years and see what I, as an Amateur porn performers, thought about reality as entertainment .

Scene 1:

They sit side by side, she strokes his leg and he caresses her. Even though she whispers and it is dark outside, the camera and the microphone capture her confession that she is enjoying the intense intimacy of their encounter even while she knows her partner may be doing the same somewhere else.

Scene 2:

The screen is small and the images are slightly choppy, nevertheless, her wetness is evident as he enters her. The camera pans to her face and she sticks her tongue out and waves before throwing her head back in ecstasy.

These two anecdotes represent two versions of what has become a phenomena: reality as entertainment. One is a description of some scenes from the recent television hit Temptation Island [Seska circa 2012 editorial note: It was a hit? I would have never thought of it again if I had not found this essay.] and the other is an example of a snippet from a webcam show on just about any hardcore amateur adult sex site. One is PG, the other for mature audiences only, both are for the voyeur who seems to have endless offerings laid before him/her. None of this would exist though if it weren’t for the exhibitionists among us.

Background

Voyeurs are people who find sexual pleasure in looking at people engaging in sexual acts, undressing or simply being nude. As time has passed this definition has been expanded to include people who receive satisfaction from viewing others in most any kind of situation you can think of; be it of pleasure, pain or of anything in between. In this sense a voyeur’s credo might be to live vicariously though the experiences of others is to live expansively.

According to present psychological thinking, exhibitionists are people who receive pleasure in exposing their genitals to an unsuspecting stranger. In terms of everyday language, as well as among fetishists, the S/M community, swingers, club kids, and most anyone who enjoys dressing for pleasure, exhibitionism has come to mean revealing or displaying oneself for one’s enjoyment, as well as for the enjoyment of the spectator(s), but it need not be sexual. In the case of people engaging in alternative lifestyle activities, the exhibitionism is consensual. While for club kids and those dressing for pleasure, the activities do not cross the line into complete nudity or explicit sexuality, so the point is to make people look twice or to turn back and stare in shock. They tease and provoke by wearing extreme forms of fashion and dress. Their behaviour may offend or delight and that is the hope of an exhibitionist. Without a reaction does an exhibitionist truly expose him/herself? I think not.

From Social Studies Class to the Discovery Channel: We Never Mind Our Own Business

Much of the media has always offered something to satisfy both voyeurs and exhibitionists. Traditional documentaries have chronicled people’s experiences of events, both common place and unusual. They have been watched as a form of education, seen in classrooms and on public television for decades. However, they also serve a more veiled purpose. They offer the viewer a way of experiencing something unknown to them, something they can not, for limitations of their own, experience themselves. By watching a documentary, one can visit different countries, take part in distinct cultures and subcultures, see the world through other eyes. It is safe to do so because the experience remains external, not real. Viewers of documentaries are voyeurs of the private, secret, often taboo parts of the human experience. Observed from a distance, the forbidden is accessible in such a way that it can be sampled and then discarded easily and without sacrifice.

Its All About the Freaks

When it comes to today’s voyeuristic offerings reality shows have become the vogue. We can watch a real life couple plan their wedding at 8 PM, serious surgeries at 9 PM and then at 10 PM, the arrests of stupid criminals. For some it is strictly T.M.I. (too much information), but for others it is an escape from their lives, as well as a means to satisfy their curiosity, their gossip hungry side. They get to see how others live, compare it to their own experience, and likely make judgements about it all.

Before there was TV, to know what was going on in other people’s lives we had to peek through the blinds or put a glass up to a door and eavesdrop. Why do you think front porches where designed? To sit on them and admire the view of course, the view of your neighbours!

In an extreme manner, TV talk shows hosted by the likes of Sally Jesse Raphael, Jenny Jones and Jerry Springer,  amplified this curiosity about the diversity of the human experience. They took the unusual and unmentionable into the public forum in a big way. With the excuse that it is educational or entertaining, producers of talk TV have pushed the envelope of what is for public consumption. Guests of these shows air their dirty laundry, confront their loved ones over intimate transgressions, and offer themselves up for public humiliation, all in one short hour. Just as you want to look at car wreck you pass on the highway, people slow down when channel surfing to catch a glimpse of “My Mother Is Having My Boyfriend’s Love Child”.

Knowing a bit about psychology and the human interest in the bizarre and extreme, one can understand why such programs are so popular. However, why do people go on these programs? If I got a call from the producers of one of these shows, why in the world would I actually go? I’d be signing up for an afternoon of heckling, confrontation, exposure of something from my past, confession of something hurtful, and maybe all of these gruelling things would be experienced at the same time. No thank you. Regardless, many people do go on these shows. I am thinking that they do so for reasons of their own. It might have to do with them being offered a free trip to another city and a stay in a hotel. They might go on the show hoping to get some publicity for their business, but the main one is likely that they have an exhibitionistic side to their personality.

Getting Your 15 Minutes Anyway You Can

Western society has become obsessed with celebrity. Not only are people interested in other people’s fame, many are searching for their way to have their own 15 minutes of it. Even the shyest of my friends have confessed to daydreams of accepting their Oscar and the speech they’d give. Of course, not all people have the desire or the opportunity to get those 15 minutes, but it seems that a good bunch of us do seek it out. Hence, the trash TV guests and their exposure of their personal issues. They must get some rush when they sit on stage and have cameras filming their every move. They speak and people listen and watch; a very empowering experience. Knowing that millions of people are watching you, no matter what the reason, can be thrilling. You are a star for at least a blink of an eye.

Wanna Be In Pictures?

This desire for exposure and notoriety, as well as the ease of videotaping one’s self, has led to a boom in the Amateur porn video market. With the increase in the accessibility to video cameras, people have been filming their sexual escapades and some brazen souls have produced them for the viewing pleasure of others. In these cases, people are not exposing their emotional intimacy to others (like those who do on trash TV), but rather their physical intimate moments. The thought that others are seeing them have sex adds to their enjoyment.

People seem to also enjoy seeing “real people” have “real sex”. Acting has never been a requisite for porn movies, though for some genres it can add to its quality. In most productions the acting gets in the way of the sex. Amateur porn movies present the essence of it all without the bullshit. Viewers get to see what they believe to be unchoreographed sexual acts, real orgasms and natural looking bodies. The rawness adds to their stimulation and voyeuristic excitement.

Exhibitionism Online

A relatively new, but booming addition on the scene is amateur porn on the Internet. What started off as housewives posting fuzzy personal pictures on Bulletin Board Service (BBS) has become a multimillion dollar industry. Small sites offering those blurry pictures still exist, but they have been overtaken by slick sites with purchased content, including those run by big Internet porn companies, that pass themselves of as “girl-next-door sites or “true amateurs”. In the middle you find amateur porn sites run by the couples they feature, mine being one of them. The quality has improved from the BBS days, but the intent is the same: to get off on showing off.

A very prominent feature of many sites are voyeurcams, where a stationary camera is placed in some location and an unsuspecting person or group of persons is filmed or viewed live. The fact that the people on screen do not know that they are being filmed is an extra bonus for many viewers. A true sense of voyeurism is suggested even though in all likelihood, due to privacy laws, it is being simulated. For the most part the voyeur cams are set up in homes or rented suites and people knowingly live and “perform” before them. That certainly is the case with the amateur adult sites which offer voyeur or 24 hour cams.

Scheduled Exhibitionism

Either due to the intensity of having your life viewed 24 hours a day or the high cost of bandwidth, most amateur sites tend to schedule their exhibitionism to special webcams shows they do after they come home from work or when the kids are put to bed. The Rosecam Network of which I am a part of operates in this way. Each amateur gal or couple has specific time slots so that members of our sites know when we are on. They are spread out through out the day with the majority occurring in the evening hours (EST). I suppose some exhibitionists would feel constrained by the timing of the webcams, but it works quite well for others. I find it extremely exciting to think about upcoming shows, how I will be having sex with my husband or some friends and that a good bunch of people will getting off on watching me do so.

The joy from having my site has all to do with sex. My exhibitionism, like those of other sexual performers, has to do with being viewed from that stand point. I am celebrated for my sexuality and the exuberance I show when having sex. I would not get the same thrill if I was exposing other aspects of my life. My day to life is for me and my family. I am not interested in showing people pictures or live streaming video feed of me cleaning the house, working out or reading book. Nor do I want people to see me living though the private, painful moments I have. Those are too precious and can be too easily misunderstood by others. They are complex and don’t belong to everyone. For some reason I do not perceive my sex life in the same manner. I am thoroughly comfortable sharing a great deal of it.

Skin Versus Soul

The couples and singles who went on the television reality series Temptation Island do not have the same set of limits regarding personal privacy as I do. While I have no qualms exposing my sexual activities to the public, I am not the least bit interested in sharing my raw emotional relationships with strangers [Seska circa 2012 editorial note: This did change for me. I became more and more comfortable writing about my emotions, my ups and downs, and my day to day experiences. You can thank technology, trends and just a general comfort level with regards to privacy for that. I still like being in control of what I share and how I share it.]. Those who went on the show not only signed up for an experience to test their boundaries with their significant others, but also to let the television viewing public into this experience. Some of the participants seemed to find the cameras invasive and exploitive. When they were upset by things they had seen or heard, they wanted to have some privacy, but one of the purposes of the show was to show those moments and so the participants in question were reminded that was the deal. Others seemed to come alive before the cameras. They were very comfortable expressing their painful moments before them and even seemed to enjoy the heighten intensity of having a camera in their face. Like the guests on the TV talk shows, something about living their life on camera was satisfying. Could an island vacation be sufficient compensation for exposing your personal dramas to millions of people? Then why would the cameras affect some and not others? Some element of exhibitionism must play a role.

In our world we are bombarded by multimedia images of humanity, from the earliest documentary, to TV talk shows, to the porn videos, to the webcam sites on the Internet. We have always been observers. We used to do it by peering over a fence to see what our neighbor was up to or opening a window to hear their conversations, cries and moans in the apartment across the way. Some of people want to know more, see more. They find excitement in the sexual, in the private, in the taboo. Now they can do so with ease by turning on a television or going online. In the past, to satiate them people used to exhibit during festivals and cultural or religious events. Some lived on the margins of society, being watched but rarely touched. Now we offer up our private worlds in the form of images and sounds. We do it willingly for our own innate desire to be seen, recognized, and even received. Voyeur and exhibitionist, we are two people who rarely ever meet, but we can not exist without the other.

Originally published at Seska for Lovers 2000.

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Release & Embrace - Just Not the XXX Kind

Happy Monday everyone! It feels like a happy one for me. The sun is up. The sky is big and blue. I made myself a cup of delicious coffee. I had to grind the beans myself because I forgot to do it yesterday at the awesome 100% organic shop near my place, but . Its also a happy Monday because I woke up to two cats inches from my face and their whiskers grazing my nose. Sure, I wanted to sleep some more. I had gone to bed the night before at 12:30AM and it was 6:43AM. More sleep was needed. However, it is a happy feeling to be needed and those cats need me.

Other happy things for me on this day is I followed up on some advice I got from a personalized reading with Ophira of www.astrostyle.com.  I ordered the book Astrology for the Soul by Jan Spiller which explores the North and South Nodes of the Moon in astrological charts. Now, if astrology is not for you, that is fine. However, I think you should keep reading anyway because it brought be some great insights. You may not agree with the way in which I got them, but I think you might appreciate the insights themselves. I know I have.

So, during my reading Ophira explained to me what the North and South Nodes of the Moon represent in your astrological chart - something I was not familiar with. As soon as I had it explained to me I knew this was amazing information that could change my life. Really. And it is one that fits with all the other amazing, yet often painful, insights I have been having in my personal growth work, therapy and from the other resources I have been learning from.

As my regular readers know I have been in a state of flux. I ended my marriage in 2010, I had a very messy rebound relationship, and I have been at a loss regarding what to do professionally. My well used ways and ideas have not been working for me for a long time. Like a sweater that once fit but no longer does, I was in need of something new and sized for me as I am now. Yes, these old skills and thought processes may have served me well in the past, but not anymore. So what is up with that? Looking at the South and North Nodes of my astrological chart helped me see what was/is going.

The South Node reveals the gifts that you bring into this lifetime, your sweet spot, your comfort zone. You will be innately good in these areas of life, and may begin your early path based on your South Node leanings. While this can bring a sense of satisfaction, it is unlikely to elevate you to Blissville. There’s a sense of “been there, done that” in the field of South Node activities. And indeed you have: in many past lifetimes.

The North Node is the exact opposite. It illuminates the terrain that’s calling your name, but climbing to the peak of this mountain is like trekking up Mt. Everest. You’ll have to lighten up your baggage and enlist a proverbial Sherpa to get you up that hill. It’s your learning curve. North Node activities require you to stretch out of your comfort zone. Once you do, you’ll be amazed by how fulfilled you feel. It’s like the activation of your life’s mission. The sooner you align yourself with this path, the more purpose-driven your life will become.

- Ophira and Tali of Astro Style

And for me specifically that means I need to release these traits:  attention-seeking, the desire for drama and materialism, and embrace these traits: team spiritedness, a sense of purpose and sustainable living.

Indeed! It all it makes sense!

I have explored with my therapist how easy it is for me to be a sexual superstar, how easy it is for me to get caught up in drama. It feeds me, but only on a furious, energetic ego driven level. It does not bring me happiness. It does not bring me a sense of calm. It brings me the exact opposite. It drives me bonkers. Still, getting out of my comfort zone feels to me much like the physical growing pains of adolescence, lots of ouch combined with its meant to be. It feels uncomfortable but it feels right.

Is it not interesting that I struggle with what I find is easy but unfulfilling that I joined the board of directors for Head and Hands - a not profit organization that provides health, legal and social services for people 12-25? Is it not interesting that I have been trying to bring the burlesque community together and support emerging artists with projects like the Montreal Burlesque Social Club and Acme Burlesque? Is in not interesting that I felt stifled by limiting my online activities to porn and created Seska for Lovers and Seskuality to broaden my horizons and those of my website visitors?

Indeed! It all it makes sense!

I am very much looking forward to getting the book. I want to learn more about this release and embrace. I know at my core I must continue doing it because when I do it I feel like I am wearing a cozy sweater that was made to order, made with lots of love too.  Ah, fashion as spiritual analogy. What fun!

Please leave a comment if any of this resonates with you. I share my struggles and my successes with you because I love the connection this wild world wide web offers us.  I love it when you share your experiences with me!

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How I Got Involved in Amateur Porn

Here is an essay I wrote in 2000 on how I came about to creating and running my own Amateur XXX website and some of the expected and unexpected results of this choice. I find it interesting and important to look back because it helps me see where I am today and to look forward towards tomorrow. Kind of like the Warrior 2 pose in yoga. I really love that pose. But I digress.

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I discovered online porn during the BBS days when I was living with roommates during university (in 1993). One good buddy of mine used to like to find extreme pictures and leave them on the desktop with the caption “click on this if you dare”. Of course we would all take the dare and then would see some horrid picture of (I have to censor myself due to my billing company - what I saw usually was violent or involved animals). I didn’t let these images dissuade me from looking for Internet sites. I just knew what I did not like from viewing them.

Once I got my own computer and internet connect it became the days of the world wide web and I found out what I truly enjoyed - it was information over tantalisation. I was eager to read up on some of my new sexual interests: fetish clothing, BDSM and swinging. I started local. I surfed for stores and clubs in my area. I read everything I could get my hands on that pertained to the rules and etiquette of the different scenes. It was very educational and gave me food for fantastical thought. At that point my boyfriend at the time James and I began attending fetish nights and we experimented with swinging. Overall, it was a learning experience which helped us figure out what were our turn-ons and what suited us best as a couple.

Around this same time (1997) I discovered a link to Carol Cox’s Amateur Site. It was a rich resource for me. Not only did it have pictures of real people having sex which I found very arousing, but it was also a door to another world for me. One I was terribly intrigued by.

James and I were quite excited that one of the most well known and successful Amateurs on the Internet happened to live in our city and we had the opportunity to get to meet her. We decided to attend one of her advertised gatherings. It was held at a local swingers’ club. We approached her at the beginning of the night and said hello. She introduced us to her husband and the four of us hit it off. In short order, we became good friends. It was with their encouragement and support that James and I decided to create an Amateur adult site of our own. We were now to become pornographers instead of being just viewers of it.

About two or three years before this, I had made an attempt to perform in front of the camera. It was for a personal video for James. We videotaped ourselves having sex. I actually did not enjoy looking at this particular video, but James enjoyed it immensely. I think I found it difficult to watch myself be sexual in combination with the imperfections I saw. I was quite critical of the low production quality of our tape (poor sound, poor lighting, and poor camera angles), as well as the faults I saw in my physical characteristics. I was very hard on myself. James was much more generous. He watched the video with the expectation of flaws and naturalness. He knew what he would see would be raw and real, but arousing as well.

When deciding to expose my self on the web I knew that based upon this past experience I would have to get past my body issues and worries about being imperfect. In the beginning I was concerned that I would feel insecure about my breasts. Porn is notorious for massive boobage, something I don’t have. I thought I would feel pressured to get a breast enlargement. I did briefly consider it, but I quickly realized I was happy with my breasts as they were. I was very happy with my body and felt celebrated for my own natural attributes. In fact, I rarely ever wear my old Wonder Bra anymore. Porn has been good for this girl’s self image in many ways.

Part of that has to do with the talks I had with James. He helped me realise that there is no such thing as the perfect woman or man for everyone. We all have our distinct tastes and preferences when it comes to erotic material and who we find attractive. Some people find me attractive and enjoy my pictures and others do not. It isn’t anything personal against me, but more about the diversity of human beings.

I think what also helped me do so was to look at my own tastes. When it comes to pure physical attraction, I like certain body shapes over others. What makes my head turn or my eyes stare tends to be a certain type of man and a certain type of woman. I definitely know I prefer brunettes over blondes (men especially). So, I knew among the millions of people on the Internet, there was bound to be a few people who liked my look just as there are people I am particularly fond of. After becoming aware of this, I quickly came to terms with it all.

One expectation I had that turned out to be correct was that running your own adult site is work. Yes, I get to have some crazy sexual experiences that many people can only dream about, but it is still work. If I have a cold, I still have to do those updates, perform for my webcams shows and write those journal entries. We also can’t be away from home very long because James and I update the site very regularly. If we vacation, we must be able to get online. That leaves out more exotic places to travel to. However, that is the boring stuff.

More fascinating, is the sex part of the work. Now, I am letting you in on a big secret here. Having sex for a living is work and it takes some effort to make fantasy come to life. Even with an Amateur site which reflects my actual sexual lifestyle there is some artifice to it. For example, I never used to schedule my sexual activities. Having a site has caused me to do so. My photoshoots and especially my webcam shows are scheduled. Every Tuesday night at 9 PM and Wednesday at noon I know I am going to be partaking in some sexual activity. It is not as spontaneous as the rest of my sex life. Lucky for me, I do work well with planning. It helps me get into a sexual frame of mind and then give a good show for the viewers. I know that some performers get bogged down by the arranging of their sexual exploits. It can make things difficult sometimes.

The other reality of pornography that I learned early on is that what looks best on film is the most uncomfortable position possible for the model. Yes, if you see someone in a sexy posed shot chances are their backs are killing them. With the live shows I don’t have the same problem because I am in motion. This is a good thing as it lets me enjoy the sex itself. However, as a performer who is also the camera-person (as James and I are), in the back of your mind you are always thinking about the camera. For me this is mainly a turn-on because I enjoy performing for interested parties. However, you do have to focus on the camera angles and choosing positions that will give the viewer the best possible show. Non-exhibitionist sex tends to be just a blur of humping asses and this does not make for the best porn.

This being the case, my experience as a pornographer has greatly influenced my view and appreciation of porn. I know the inside scoop. While the sex isn’t faked, it is contrived and it isn’t perfect. The performers, even with their beautiful bodies, have self image concerns, the men don’t always have dependable erections or orgasms and accidents happen. One time I fell over while having anal sex on camera. It was hilarious and real. With Amateur porn you can’t always edit out such bloopers. Yet by leaving them in, it can make the porn very accessible to the viewers. My life may be a fantasy for them, but it is one they can share and understand. It is not out of reach.

Some people are disappointed by what they perceive as flaws and mistakes in porn. It bursts their sexual bubbles. For them mainstream porn is a better option. It can have a beauty and an idealness that allows them to escape for a short time. Nevertheless, I think it is healthy to have some reality mixed in with your fantasy. It helps you see the performers as the complex people they are and see yourself and your partners in comparison as just as sexy and arousing.

When I am old and grey (or more likely still a brunette covering it up), I think I will look back at my life in porn as being a good experience. As a viewer of porn I have been given a gift of seeing sexual possibilities and enhancing imagery. As a pornographer, I have been able to share my experiences and insights with others and offer them a gift in return for their support. On a selfish note, all of it has allowed me to feel better about my body, my abilities and my value as a sexual being. Most importantly, I feel it has allowed me to see the same qualities in others.

Originally published at Seska for Lovers 2000.

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vacation

I was away! I went on vacation! I didn’t use a computer and I only texted to let my friends and family know I arrived safely (OK, I also sent a couple of friends some texts about my observations). But still it was quite a tech free time. Instead, I spent my days reading, writing and swimming. I spent my nights looking at the stars and sleeping (having such wild and vivid dreams).

I stayed at a small resort . I think their maximum capacity is 80 people. There were about 40 when I went. Mostly seniors as well as a few younger couples and a handful of single men who expected a much more ‘fun’ resort. They approached me, not understanding that 1) I was there alone 2) That I wanted to be left alone and 3) How to leave me alone. I had to be blunt. It was the only unpleasant thing of my trip. The rest was exactly as I wanted it to be.

I wanted to be away from the singles-on-vacation scene. I had no desire for bars, discos and shows. I wanted to get away so I could regroup, think, process.  I wanted to give my broken heart some respite. It was the perfect trip for that. I journalled A LOT. I will go through it and see if I can find some goodies to share. In the meantime here are  a few pics I took. I also took video. I will need to edit it together before I can post it.

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My Next Burlesque Show

Cabaret Burlesque with Scarlett James  - March 7th, 2012

The Club House (1232 de la Montagne, Montreal)
10pm

Starring: Scarlett James, L Diablo, The Lady Josephine, LouLou and Seska Lee

MC Benjamin Marquis

* When I know the cover I will let you know. *

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Women & Porn - Circa 11 Years Ago

Background

I was digging around my archive of articles and essays and came across this one from 2001. I thought I would share it now and let it simmer and then see if I can do a follow-up. Please share in the comments how you feel the topic of women and porn has (or has not) changed in the eleven years it has been since I first explored this issue. Its definitely time to revisit this issue but not forget how things were different only ten or so years ago.

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I recently attended the June 2001 Internext Tradeshow in Las Vegas. It is a tradeshow for individuals and companies that operate adult websites or provide services and content for such sites. Since I began working in the field I have attended these conventions as a means to get to know other Amateur webmasters and models, shoot content with them and have a little fun on the side. For the most part the seminars are not applicable to what I do because I operate my sites outside of the United States (so the legal issues are not as relevant) or they are aimed at newbies to the business, which, after 3 years in the business, I am not. However, this year I eagerly anticipated sitting in on the “Women on the Net” seminar. Being female and running sites for both men and women, this seminar seemed to be right up my alley.

The pornography industry has long been dominated by men, but the Internet is helping to change that. Many highly successful adult Websites are owned and operated by women, and women are becoming an increasingly large percentage of online pornography consumers. The panel of female entrepreneurs and Webmasters will offer their views on what it takes to be a successful female business owner in this industry and the differences in marketing adult materials to men and women.
-Official Internext 2001 Seminar Description

The panellists included such prominent insiders as Internet entrepreneur Danni Ashe (of the “most downloaded women on the Net” fame), Jane Duvall of Jane’s Guide, Holly Moss, VP of Marketing and Sales at iGallery (a big time adult content provider), and Phyllis Heppenstall, the owner of both retail and online sex toy stores. This is an impressive list of people who have paid their dues and accomplished a great deal in a male-dominated field.

Being Successful in the Adult Internet World

The first goal of the seminar was easily met. The panellists clearly expressed what they thought it took to be successful in the adult Internet world. Expectations by fellow business people are often lower for women and this was seen as an advantage. The panellists found that it was not difficult to surpass these expectations and take people by surprise with their talents and abilities. Good communication, mutual respect and being able to both lead and work well within a team environment were also mentioned as skills to their benefit. These are all things that could be applied to women working in any male-dominated field, so there was nothing really new here.

More specific to the adult industry was Danni Ashe’s comment that she found that being one’s own model has its benefits. Not only does it lower operating costs, but it allows her to be more sensitive to the needs of the other models under her employment. Having one’s own experience of working sexually in front of the camera lets a person know exactly what is required physically, mentally and emotionally of the models. It is not theoretical or based on observation. It is an actual life experience that can be used to create better working environments for all involved.

Being considered “talent”, however, has its costs. Many people in the adult Internet industry take me less seriously when they find out that besides writing, programming and designing for my websites I also model for them. Based on discussions with other women, I know I am not the only one who has faced this. By both men and women in the industry, models are very often seen as a means to an end and they are given little respect in the process. While some models are notorious for not acting professionally when on the job, there are many who take their work very seriously. When it comes to independent workers, such as the women who run their own Amateur sites (with or without the help of partners), you will often find college-educated people with substantial skills and abilities. Fans tend to have a better sense of this and are more respectful than the industry people who run adult sites or provide content and services for them.

What Do Women Want?

Addressing the second seminar topic of how to market to women as compared to men was more elusive. I think that some of the men in the audience felt that it was impossible to appeal to both markets at the same time. Others seemed to want a quick and easy answer that would have female consumers eating out of their hand or, rather, paying hand over fist for porn.

Jane Duvall mentioned that just making a site pink was not going to get you very far. Neither would the prominent use of language that is likely to alienate or offend female surfers (“cum drinking teen sluts” doesn’t do much for me and I doubt I am alone in this). It was suggested that a less misogynistic approach would be more enjoyable for female surfers and garner their attention for more than a spilt second of disgust. Danni Ashe pointed out that having a site that is fun and offers a more well rounded sense of sexuality, even if it is aimed at heterosexual men, could still be friendly to female surfers. In fact, a growing percentage of subscribers to her site are women.

Amateur sites have also been quite successful in achieving this. Couples and female surfers, while not the mainstay of the paying subscribers, are a growing portion of members of such sites. The genre was conceived as a way for exhibitionist women and couples to display themselves to willing voyeurs from the safety and comfort of their own homes. Most women involved in Amateur sites have no previous modelling or adult-work experience. They are regular people living out their fantasies as entertainment for themselves and others. Surfers seem to enjoy the approachability these sites offer. The genuineness and sense of reality can be very appealing to women who are easily turned off by the superficiality of mainstream porn.

Other sites that are often of interest to women are those which feature erotic fiction. Romance novels have typically been perceived as the kind of porn women want because they are the less visual half of the species. However, I question this point of view. It may be that in the past such novels were the only form of pornography available to women, since the power of social norms and ideals restricted visually graphic material to men. Today, with the lessening of sexual stigmas, women have the freedom to enjoy a variety of forms of pornography and, while fiction sites are popular among women, they are not the only source of sexual entertainment. In fact, they can be a way for the wary to ease their way into more graphic sexually explicit material.

Similarly, sexual education sites with message boards are attractive to female surfers. They often have a magazine feel to them and offer the surfer a sense of community. This style of site is familiar to women and so it allows for friendly access to explicit content. This way, surfing for porn is not so shrouded in shame.

What Women Don’t Want

What does not seem to appeal to women is the standard porn site with objectifying pictures displayed with little or no context, then surrounded by vulgar text and descriptions, and featuring unattainable body standards. Posed sex where the participants look longingly at the camera and not at each other also doesn’t go over well. Neither does “lesbian” sex where the women have 4-inch-long nails. Never practical for woman-woman sex, such depictions are not even one iota close to the reality of sex between women. Yes, fantasy is important, but what is perceived must have elements that the female surfer can relate to.

Depending on the woman’s personal tastes and experiences hardcore sex may or may not go over well. This is often based on the fact that women have less experience with pornography than the average male surfer. At first, I found porn’s graphic depictions of genitals to be overwhelming and distasteful to me, but I quickly became accustomed to it and now enjoy it a great deal. My husband discovered porn at an earlier age than I did. While in his teens he had a similar reaction to mine. A shocked first reaction to porn is not gender specific. Nevertheless, some people never get accustomed to the graphic depictions and always prefer softcore pornography to hardcore pornography. Many of my friends, no matter how often they see the hardcore stuff, prefer pornography of a softer, less explicit nature.

Where We Stand Now

The big question of whether women will pay for porn in whatever form it takes is still up in the air. As things stand at the moment, paying for porn is not something women are doing in great numbers. More than half of all surfers from the United States are female, with numbers likely being similar for Canada and many other parts of the wired world. As for visitors to adult sites, women account for anywhere from 3 to 14 percent with substantially less actually paying for subscription services. Heather Corinna, owner and operator of such female-friendly sites as Scarlet Letters, Femmerotic, and Scarleteen, thinks that women’s reluctance to purchase adult material online reflects their economic situations as well as the stigma attached to being a consumer of porn.

For starters, I think it is a given that anyone — male or female — who does not make mainstream Internet purchases (books, clothing, etc.) is unlikely to purchase sexual material online. In the case of many women, that may be more so, both because many women still do not have independent incomes/accounts, and because of the shame factor still attached to woman and sexual materials.
-Heather Corinna

Women may also not be buying because it can be even more difficult for women than for men to explain to their partners and even to themselves credit-card purchases of pornography. It is a luxury that, compared to other purchases, is not worth the trouble or the explanation. Furthermore, the sites out there, as discussed beforehand, are not very appealing to most women. Spending money on something that doesn’t suit your tastes is a waste of hard-earned cash.

In my experience, women who do make Internet purchases are far more reluctant than men to purchase sexual materials. Some of that is simply because there is very little out there to purchase, or that is worth purchasing. But the element of trust seems to be a key factor. Women, in general, are often highly smart consumers, in any milieu. Therefore, they’re more inclined to get site subscriptions to long-standing sites with a quality reputation, without “free trial” tricks, etc. When the material is diverse, being more than eye candy, but a good balance of *quality* visuals, fiction, non-fiction and information (not of the lame Cosmo variety, or just advice rehash you can read anywhere), you have a far better chance of getting and retaining female consumers.
-Heather Corinna

How Internet Porn Can Have a Place in Our Lives

During the “Woman and The Net” seminar at the Internext Tradeshow Danni Ashe said that one of her goals was to make a site that would be least likely to offend the significant other of the male surfer. She felt that if a guy’s girlfriend felt it was OK that he visit her site, she had a much more loyal customer. As Heather Corinna states, men use porn as masturbatory material while women use porn as a springboard to future sex with their partners. Knowing this can help women see the place porn can have in their life, in their spouse’s life and their life together as a couple.

With the exception of people who would rather masturbate than have sexual relations with their partner, masturbation and porn can play a vital role in one’s sexual life. Masturbation and consequently orgasm (at least hopefully it occurs most times) allows for physical and emotional release. It is an entirely “normal” and healthy activity and is part of the great selection of sexual activities available to us. For some, masturbation and sexual arousal includes using additional stimuli, i.e., pornography. It could be in the form of drawings, pictures, video, the written word or audio.

It is unrealistic to expect that our partners will completely fulfill our sexual needs and desires at every and any given moment. With honest communication we can negotiate how and when to be together and when solo pleasures are a more appropriate choice. Likewise, some negotiation over the use of pornography can be useful. Understanding what your partner (and you) find appealing and not appealing about porn and how that relates or does not relate to your real-life sexual expectations is very important. Most times, people appreciate that pornography is essentially fiction and fantasy, or at the very least, contrived and selective. Knowing such, you can have a better sense of the role it plays in your individual sexual lives and how you can incorporate it, if you wish, into your life as a couple.

Women having an interest in sexual matters is nothing new. Being able to view and buy explicit material online is. It is a relatively new medium that has figured out how to appeal to the male consumer. For the most part, other men have been creating what they see, even if it features the female form. Female pioneers changed the way women and sex were represented in print and video pornography and this has spread over to Internet. Previously neglected, women are able to surf for adult material that will arouse them, not offend them, all from the privacy of their own homes, doing so without embarrassment or shame. In the process, women, both as purveyors and consumers, have the opportunity to reveal how sexuality and pornography have a valuable place in our lives.

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18+ Couples Porn Video

Video of Veronica and Tommy

[hana-flv-player video=’http://seska.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/x-art_veronica_the_dorm_preview.flv’ /]

To see the full HD version visit X-Art.

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Week of December 22nd, 2003

03-12-22

This was a very domestic day. I did a bunch of laundry. A whole pile of dishes and made my husband lunch and supper (plus 3 meals and 2 snacks for myself). It went by pretty quickly considering I got off to a late start. Being a total goof I got up to watch Tom Welling on Good Morning America and then went back to bed. I got up at around 10:30 and spoke on the phone with my boyfriend for a bit before turning the TV back on to catch Tom Welling on The View. He wasn’t as charming as he had been during his previous appearance but he does look mighty darn good. Did you know I have a crush on this guy? Hee hee hee.

After my domestic affairs were taken care of I went to the gym and had a crazy workout. I was scheduled to do a serious strength workout and it sure was that. 3 sets of bench press machine and 5 sets of leg press, as well as lots of back, shoulders and arms (and a bit more leg and chest stuff). And I forgot to mention the abs. Oh the abs! Afterwards, for my cardio I took an aero-box class. It was quite intense. I would have liked to have a little more bounce in my step. Maybe next time.

And on the agenda for tomorrow - finding a recipe for the family party I am going to on the 24th. James and I are the only vegetarians in the family. The focus in good old French Canadian tradition is meat - as many different kinds of animals you can fit on a buffet table. Last time I made a very boring and uninspired lasagna. I want to bring something more impressive this time around. If you have any vegan suggestions, send them my way! I will also be bringing some gingerbread cookies. I made a batch with Talia for our Christmas show. They turned out quite well so I think I will be able to get them past my carnivore relatives.

03-12-23

Christmas is coming and I am thinking of the peace and joy I feel when I just stop and think about it. I need more times of the year to do that. A reader gave me a good hint about that -just set aside a time and place to just breathe and not think. So I am putting that on my to-do list for the New Year -though I will actually prepare for this once I get back from visiting my family for Christmas. I am happy.

It makes me think about one of the best, most peaceful moments of my life. It was not during Christmas. It was in the summer. I think I was in my late teens. I was at my friend’s cottage. After a midnight skinny-dip a few of us gals were canoeing back home and the Milky Way was just taking over the sky. I could see so many stars. Well, not quite. I wasn’t wearing my glasses so the sky was a mix of black and sparkling whiteness. Then as we were lying back in the canoe the Northern Lights waved by. All different colours. It was so amazing.

03-12-24

Lots of people at the gym this morning. I guess they were taking advantage of a day off and/or preparing for the feasting. I am planning on keeping things under control myself. I did a rough calculation of what I should eat portion wise so I do not over indulge and end up all bloated and feeling slow and tired. I do not want to sleep the holidays away.

I bought a Commensal St Jean tortière (a vegan version of a meat pie - a French Canadian staple), which I will serve with some cauliflower (I am using a new recipe for fake mashed potatoes that I read about in Vegetarian Times) and some ratatouille. I am not sure what I will be having Christmas morning. It likely will be something simple. For lunch I will have something light like lentil salad. For supper it will be the Tofurky feast!

If you celebrate Christmas, I hope you have a happy and safe holiday. Merry Christmas.

03-12-25

This is what two self-respecting webgals do to celebrate the holidays. They make gingerbread cookies (while topless), suck on large candy canes, and keep their dildos in the sink for future use.

By the way, that would be my good friend Talia giving me that cane to suck. :-)

03-12-28

I had lovely Christmas. I wrote about it in detail in my members-only journal, but here is the recap. Travel to and from the suburbs went fine. Ate lots of yummy food. Spent time with my extended family and my immediate family. Ate lots of yummy food. Got a great Hulk T-shirt for my workouts among other nice gifts.

Today I am off to my boyfriend’s, but before I do that I must do a yoga session and then put away the clean laundry. I am looking forward to seeing my boyfriend. I have a nice little gift for him and I am looking forward to seeing him wear it. Shhhh it is a tuque. He has a small head and has trouble finding hats that fit him. I think I found a good one.

Update - boyfriend has a bad cold so I am staying home. I cannot afford to catch a cold right before my trip to Las Vegas. Instead of hanging out and making lasagna I am going through my receipts and organizing my files for my accounting. Not quite what I had in mind but it needs to be done. Might as well do it now.

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